Experiencing the contrasts

From cold to warm, culture to culture, familiar food to the unknown, small town to huge city, and exchanging one form of comfort for a completely different kind of comfort, my first 3 days in India are full of life, stories, and experiences I'll only be able to touch on. I'm taking lots of pictures and will share them once I get back to the U.S. For now, imagining the sights and sounds will have to do. In the early morning, I awaken to the most interesting combination of sounds: Indian music wafting in from windows in the neighborhood, brooms sweeping, a cacophany of car and auto-rickshaw horns beeping, an occasional dog barking, motorcycles getting started, a rooster crowing, pigeons cooing, heavy apartment doors opening and closing, a man loudly calling "Abbay, abbay" and the general background of traffic.

I have heard so many stories I wish I had time to share from people on the airplane to Smriti's relatives to librarians I've met. For now, I'll try to share the themes. Many people are passionate when talking about the unity of life and how we are all the same at a basic level, no matter what the religion, race, nationality. The most unexpected people have read the Koran, the Bible, the Bhagavad Gita and come to the conclusion that it's the same God. That's all good on the broad level, but when discussion goes to more personal preferences, sometimes the differences and the obstacles we let them create become more apparent.

Everyone has been incredibly generous with me. Strangers on the airplanes (one from Nigeria, one from Secunderabad, India) have given me gifts. Ladies from India that I've only just met have invited me to come to their homes and visit. The family ties here extend way beyond family. There aren't services like ambulances, so everyone calls a family member, no matter how distant, if help is needed. The family I am staying with, in addition to coordinating 5 wedding events are helping numerous others, plus having guests including me. I am being included as part of the family.

For the wedding, we spent 2 days shopping for the wedding sari in nice shops. Everyone is involved in the decision: mother, father, me, Smriti, Mark, sister, aunt, grandma's youngest sister, grandpa. One learns a lot about both preferences and family relationships at the same time. It amazes me how smoothly the flow goes and how the decision in the end seemed to please everyone. There was a point where I wondered how this was going to happen, as everyone was describing his/her favorite at whatever store it had been, the clerks went and found that one last sari (out of hundreds) that we hadn't seen yet. It met everyone's desire and we all collectively seemed to sigh and say "Ah, this is it!" To see the bride and groom both light up confirmed it.

Today much of the family went shopping for Mark's sherwani and Smriti's traditional wedding jewelry. These shopping days usually go about 8-10 hours! Compromise and respect for each other dominate though, of course, there are many differences. I am loving the family and am amazed at the way they offer to fulfill my desires even before I ask most of the time. I'm being outfitted with even fancier saris than I brought - keep in mind there are 5 separate events that need gorgeous outfits. Jyotsna, Smriti's mother is very similar in size to me and she is also lending me some kurtas to wear. Generosity abounds, as does love. I feel so welcome.

While the family was out shopping, I went to Osania University to meet some librarians there, give an address to the library and information science students, go out to lunch with the directors of the program, hear more stories, and learn about how things are done in this country. There is much wisdom and understanding at the top level, and much patience for the contrasting values around. The Arts and Sciences building, which was built in 1935 and houses 28 different departments have an intricately carved domed ceiling, central open air courtyards, and two major inner stories to that courtyard. The 1st story is Hindu style arched architecture; the second story if Muslim style arched architecture. Talk about trying to incorporate the differences!

The pictures I took are still in my mind (and still in Patrick's camera -- thanks Patrick - it's working out great!). Outside the window of the Director of Continuing Education and the Library program a new canteen and technology center is being built. Right next to it are women doing laundry and laying it out to dry, people carrying buckets of water to the construction site to mix with sand, I think, privately owned bulls which have wandered onto the 1600 acre campus -- such simplicity and beauty and grace among such a variety of intellectual, physical and sustenance-producing events.


Tomorrow I am giving the valedictory address to a 5 day workshop for libraries who have been at a different college in Hyderabad for special training. I'm sure I'll miss some more shopping, but Grandpa says it's an everyday event, so don't worry. (He is a wise, wise, man in many ways.)

Blogs are supposed to be short, but I don't know how often I'll find the time and a computer to post, so I tried to cover some highlights. Til next time...