wedding festivities

Prior to the actual wedding ceremony, which is tomorrow, the close family gathers to bless the bride. That was yesterday. Since the groom's family is not from India, the bride's family did both blessings in their apartment. It starts about 7:30 in the a.m. with anointing of oil on the head (symbolic of keeping your cool), the marks in the center of the forehead with turmeric and the red paste, dried rice sprinkled in the hair for blessings, the offering of fire (purifies negative thoughts and offers the light of knowledge). Neither the bride or groom are left alone to sit for this ceremony. Smriti had her sister and 2 cousins with her. Each one gets the blessings from numerous family members (including me as the host mother). Then new clothes are give to each of them, symbolic of taking on a new life, and they are sent to shower and change. Mark sat with his best man for this.

Smriti then gets dressed up for about 1.5 hours -- her hair is plaited (braided) in a traditional way with flowers all the way up and down and special jewelry, and gorgeous sari, specific makeup that the mother applies, each with a meaning. She reappears as a beautiful princess! After a delicious lunch for about 25, Smriti has to change yet again for the application of henna.

That took several hours. The designs are elaborate. One arm represents the groom and has designs of ganesh (remover of obstacles) and a man on an elephant (a traditional way of a groom arriving) amidst many more designs. The other arm represents the bride. Her legs and feet also get decorated. The henna artist is a professional and very quick, using squeeze tubes similar (but much smaller) to ones I've seen used for cake decorating. The henna stays on until it dries, then flakes off.


Kirtana (sister) doesn't like the henna and didn't want to sleep in the bed with Smriti last night as it does chip off all night long. I had some small designs put on my hands at the evening celebration, and my bed was crunchy enough! The longer you leave it on, the darker the stain, so for a wedding two days away, Smriti wants it as dark as possible.

In the evening, there was a party for 100 at "Our Space" a nice facility with a dais and a dance floor, plus a buffet of Smriti's favorite "chaat" (snacks that were much more like a full meal -- lots of delicious food to sample from different parts of India's ethnic cuisine.) The dancing was fantastic! Nanda is the name for sticks; nandia is a dance using sticks. Each person has two sticks and there are dance steps and "stick tapping" rhythms that go with the music that has a wonderful beat. After every 5 taps everyone twirls around. The colorful saris and men's kirtanas make for a very graceful and lovely scene. There are many varieties of this dance. My description is quite basic, but about as much as I could learn in one night.

I also met many more gracious people yesterday from around India, plus Indians who live in the U.S. who have come and brought their children so they can experience an Indian wedding. There is much cultural pride and for good reason. I met a librarian at the end of the evening who is quite progressive and innovative and was a delight to share stories.

This afternoon, we arrived at the resort where the wedding will take place tomorrow morning for close family, and the reception for 300 will be tomorrow night. I'm going to go explore the beautiful grounds now.